Oh, That Old Man

"Gandalf you sick bastard!" cried the rock star. With all his industrial might, his Iron Armour and the drugs in his veins he could not comprehend just how that old man did it again!

"First it was entertaining kids... well I liked that, you know... yeah..I did. Thaught them how to smoke things. Yeah...well.. even taught them how to make all kinds of stuff with the smoke. The kids loved it. I was their Giant. And what is this Old Man? I come home from a kick ass concert I held and what do you know? My eyes stumble across that blasted book... The Kid or somethin' like that and well... You did all this before!" he fell to the ground, reached for a joint, lit it and went to dye his hair green. He put on a very metal collar and killed a kitten.

"Oh, you old hibbity or hobbity frakker! What am I talking about? You must be able to see the future. Yeah, you see what I'm about to do and do it before I get the chance to do it and take all the credit! How can I be humiliated by an old man like you? You and your white beard! Dumbledore-lover! I am the greatest thing in the world, besides the Ruling Power. I hold about half the economic wealth of this whole blasted planet! I have fans that sell their moms, cut their throats and have sex just to see me on stage! Note to self: the last part might be for their own pleasure... well.. anyways, I am BIG, HUGE, GIIIIAAAAANT!!!"

ZDBEEE-EEP! A red led is lit and Industry Giant's manager enters the room:

"Wow, Giant! You put on a serious show! Yeah.. you totally rocked. But why are you dyeing your hair, doing your nails and shouting around here? Shouldn't you get ready for the Great Battle?"

"You must be higher then I am again or something..." replied the Giant

"I don't do drugs"

"Yeah..tell that to your kids"

"I don't have kids"

"This is not a confession you know? Nor is this the place for your sad little stories of how you ended up alone and have no kids."

"Right... well... you know about the Great Battle, right?"

"What? Another crapy TV Show gets aired this month?"

"Aaa.. no! Remember your last concert? You sang all those songs about Freedom and death to the political system type of things."

"I did, didn't I? I sing stupid things when I'm drunk 'n high!"

"Yeah..well.. people from all over the world have joined forces to stop the Ruling Power of this world and to install the reign of... ANARCHY!...as you..well... told them to!"

"What did I sing? Sex Pistols covers?"

"Dunno... anyway... they've abandoned loved ones, decided to risk their lives, all for the hope you gave them that the old ways shall once again hold true and that they will rejoice at the taste of true Freedom. You said that you were going to give them all this and that tomorrow at dawn in the rage of battle, should they look to the East, you shall be there, arriving to help them!"

"Yeah.. might have said all that.. now... anyplace you wanna go? I have to check out my blood. Yeah.. don't look at me like an idiot. I cut a vein just there, look! Cool, huh?"

"Giant, they are dying... I hate to break it to you... but you won't sell shit without those guys that are dying for you in this very instant. You can save them and sell more albums then bakers sell breads!"

"Wait for me at dawn, look to the East, bla, bla! What am I? Gandalf? Gandaaaaaalf!?!!! You sick bastard, Gandalf! I bet you already did this one as well!"

A few moments later:

"Let them all die... Ha! Take that, old man! Bet you didn't pull this one off."